so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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