I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
