talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
