sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
