I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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