They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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