I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
