how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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