This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
