She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
