He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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