And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
