At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I have fence marks all over my body
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
