Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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