drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
