It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
