it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
