Do vagina's smell?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
