You smell like stripper and shame
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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