Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
