just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
how drunk are you?
Several
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
