We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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