i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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