he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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