Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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