guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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