He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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