Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We don't watch enough power rangers
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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