tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
