I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
