I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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