I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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