I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
