ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
