bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
