he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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