i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
