The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
