Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
