i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I party with great urgency now.
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