I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
