if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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