Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
