It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
