# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
