In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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