One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm always down for nudity.
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