whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
