I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
