just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
