Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
