Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
