Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
