so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
