Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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